


Letters To The Dead

by NonbinaryErrol



Category: The Ascendance Trilogy - Jennifer A. Nielsen
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Maybe - Freeform, Mentions of Death, letter format, look it's just roden and harlowe thinking about havanila, more characters and tags to be added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:28:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21743764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NonbinaryErrol/pseuds/NonbinaryErrol
Summary: There is a custom in Carthya to write a letter to the deceased to create closure. Residents of the castle take time to practice this custom.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> custom is totally my own headcanon/creation for the sake of this fic
> 
> Also more parts may be coming sometime? Maybe

Mother,

I had never thought I would put a name or face to my true parents. Or be able to pen this. Or write at all. 

I will never get that chance. I’ll never hear your voice or think on your touch. I know nothing of you. There is a face and a name and stories, but everything else was taken from me.

There is so much I want to say to you. It almost aches to know there will never be an answer. 

I’m told to say that I am the Captain of the Guard, that you would have been proud. Father certainly is. It’s so nice to have here, I’ve never had anyone want to care for me so completely. Or accept me. 

Would you have? 

I don’t want to marry a girl. Do I want to marry at all? Would that be okay with you? I choose to think it would be. Father has said you loved unconditionally. 

It’s so strange. I have never met you and just recently learned of you from  ~~ Lord Harlowe ~~ father. But I miss you. There is an ache in my chest where you should have been. I have no idea how I am to feel about you. It feels wrong to miss you when it was Harlowe that really lost you. 

Yours was a loss I have grieved all my life.

I love you, mom.

Roden Harlowe


	2. Chapter 2

My Dearest Havanila,

I found him. Our darling son has come back to us. He is every bit as wonderful as we had thought him to be. Perhaps even more so. Rest easy, he is safe.

He reminds me of you. He has your eyes, bright as a summer’s day and green as emeralds. And your hair. When he laughed, I felt you with us and felt you even more when he cried. I cried as well. You would not believe all that our boy has seen but he has your heart. 

I so wish that you could be here to meet him. He is tall and strong and has overcome so much. I thank the saints each day, and pray that this is not some trick played upon a poor old man who had lost already the lights of his life. But I have gained something and will not give him up.

For now, I am here to be a father to our boy we thought lost and help guide our child king. That in and of itself is an ordeal and a half, but I have come to love him as my own. But I’m afraid I am no good at guiding him. If you were here, I know you would be far better than I ever could be. 

My lovely Nila. The days have grown so cold without your sunlight. My chest aches at the thought that I can not hold you again in this lifetime. You have been taken from me. 

I miss you and Mathis everyday. I hope that you have found each other again. I comfort myself knowing that one day again I may see your faces. Someday I will join you but I am needed here. Each day is a gift to me and I will cherish them.

I only wish I could have shared them with you.

All my love,

Rulon


End file.
